Ruminations on a Means to a Beginning

It is certainly way too late for me to even consider being awake right now; however, as has been my wont this week, I can't seem to succumb to slumber. But these hours of lying hopelessly awake in bed have allowed me time to meditate and ponder the gravity of marriage and the seemingly whimsical fantasy of weddings.

In the last two days I have actually enjoyed looking up wedding ideas and decorations. Perhaps this is due in most part to Pinterest: a wonderful website that is akin to pinning magazine clippings of things you like to cork boards. To see my page or follow me, click here.

I devoted my last post to chronicle my bizarre dreams as of late. Unfortunately, they have not yet abated; however, the subject matter is becoming slightly more comical during my waking moments (which seem to be ever more frequent). Clearly most of my dreams are borne of anxiety, and Dad was right in saying that I should focus more on the marriage rather than the wedding itself (for the wedding is only a means to... a beginning). And so I have a few thoughts on both subjects...

It is extremely difficult for me to imagine what married life will be like. This seems a bit absurd to my mind because it's not like I don't know people who are married. In fact, many of my favorite people in the world are married (like my parents-- both sets!). But it still stands that I can't imagine it. I am sure that my lack of imagination stems from my preference to live in the "now" (à la Eckhart Tolle). And I love to imagine what life will be like when it is time to bring children into the world (driving a VW Passat station wagon in navy blue!). But the question remains in my mind: what is it going to be like? Marriage is promising to love your spouse through everything that life throws at you. No matter what. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. For richer, for poorer. We've heard it hundreds, maybe thousands of times in real life, in movies, at church. But the wedding industry, the bridal industry does not focus on this at all.

Instead, much of what gets thrown at the hapless bride as soon as she accepts her compressed carbon rock from her belovéd is not advice on how to love and serve her one-and-only 'til death do them part; but rather, advice on table decorations, flowers, bouquets, color schemes, themes, photo booths, where to register for the best gifts, DIY everything from your pomanders to your wedding gown, and the list goes on and on and on and on. . .

You get my point.

Actually, I haven't even gotten to my point, which is this: the reason there is even such a thing that exists as the wedding industry is because the wedding is concrete. It's something for which we can actually have a vision, unlike marriage, which is something that only time can imagine or tell. I realized tonight that I very much prefer to imagine what it will be like to walk down the aisle (as it may be) and see Joey's face when he sees me in my dress for the first time; or to picture how beautiful all of my friends and lovely sister will be in their dresses; to hear the prelude music wafting over the front lawn as the bridal party assembles. I don't prefer these things necessarily because I look forward to the event itself (but I am looking forward to it); instead, it is because these are concrete things that I can actually influence and have direct control over-- so long as my belovéd agrees as well.

Marriage, on the other hand, I cannot control, although through my actions I may influence its health. This is not a bad thing at all, but, in fact, a very good thing. Marriage is the next great adventure; and there is no one else with whom I would rather embark upon this journey than Joey.

Dreams

I've heard lots of people say that you have weird dreams before you get married-- but I didn't realize that they start now! In the last month alone, I have had four different dreams where people die (including my dear fiancé and my cat... I guess he's not really a person, though). I have also dreamed that my engagement ring started to disintegrate on my finger.

Last night, however, was perhaps the weirdest of all the dreams I've had. Frequently I will have dreams about the wedding reception, and last night was no exception. I was dreaming that it was Joey's and my first dance; but instead of me dancing with Joey, I was dancing with a rather large, blonde girl. I also realized that we hadn't taken dance lessons, so we weren't even dancing well. And then I realized I'd completely forgotten to even hire the photographer!

YIKES!

FOUND the perfect venue!

Contrary to popular belief (ahem, isabug), I have not abandoned the blog. This has just been a very busy summer whence I've been traveling up and down the east coast as well as the Caribbean. SO, I think it is high time I update the world wide web on what's been going on wedding-wise.

So about two weeks ago, Joseph and I were still seriously considering the Aquarium (and leaning pretty heavily towards it, I might add), but we also thought the Maritime Center might be a nice place as well.

Unfortunately, I cannot post pictures from the Maritime Center's website. But you can view it here.

As soon as I walked into the area where the reception would be held, I immediately saw our relatively small budget vanish with the amount of money we would be dropping on decorations ($800 for rental plants!) just to make the place not look so austere.

So as all good daughters do when they find themselves in a tight spot, I called my dad. He told me to run all of our numbers again, just to make sure that we had carried all of the ones and added everything up correctly. We had. Then he reminded me that a year ago in March I had fallen in love with Cypress Gardens in Moncks Corner. I hemmed and hawed at the idea, but dad told me to call them and visit the Gardens one more time-- just for posterity. So as all good daughters do when their dads tell them to do something, I called Cypress Gardens and set up an appointment to see the venue.

And I fell in love with it all over again. In case you've never been to Cypress Gardens, or you think that I'm referring to the one in Florida, let me give you some pictures that will paint a lovely image of what we should see next June:

If you look closely at the second picture, you can just make out an alligator swimming through the cypress swamp. I took all of these pictures myself when Joseph and I went last March. As you can see, it is going to be amazing! And I know what you are all thinking: that bridge is going to be a perfect photo opportunity for the bridal party! For more information about Cypress Gardens and all it has to offer, please visit their website: www.cypressgardens.info